Okay, so you’re late Christmas shopping and ever since DeJoy screwed with the Post Office nothing has been running correctly. Resist the urge to buy some junk from Amazon unless they promise to send Jeff Bezos to space via giant catapult. Give the gift of booze—even if you live in Ohio using Lou’s Libations.
See, Ohio is a puritanical state (our governor hails from a dry town and Ohio hasn’t updated its laws regarding alcohol in the last century), meaning that you cannot ship alcohol in state without a great deal of nonsense. But Lou’s Libations—a small, woman-owned business, sidesteps all of this by preparing everything you need to make a top notch cocktail sans the booze itself.
I pride myself on making a great cocktail. I’ll infuse ice cubes. I’ll mince and grate and create simple syrups. I know when to stir versus shake and when to serve on the rocks and when to chill a glass with ice water and when to pull a frosty mug. Yet my creations fall short of what they pack into these jars. Each Lou’s Libation comes in a mason jar with really high end ingredients. You don’t want to buy a pound of cranberries to make two cocktails or use up a whole blood orange for one slice. To make a Lou’s Libations cocktail, you add one of the suggested spirits to the jar and let it sit for a couple days. Then you ask your guest if they want a cocktail. You go into the kitchen and make all types of racket while you strain the drink into a fancy glass. Then you emerge from the kitchen proclaiming that you’ve been working on this for a while and you hope they like it. They’ll love it and then you can ask that person to marry you or for a promotion or money or whatever reason you have them in your home and you’re using your perfect cocktail kit on them.
Or you can give Lou’s Libations as gifts, I suppose. They are perfect for in-house use or camping. Instead of pounding a 30-pack of Keystone by the campfire, be a little more regal. Have a cocktail and chuff at the folks in the campsite next to you. That’s really what camping is all about—convincing yourself that your setup is better than the rig next to yours. Sure they might have a shower and climate control. They might even have a mattress thicker than 2.25 inches. But you—you have a top notch cocktail, friend. And those Town and Country glampers with their pisswater beer will spend their evening wondering how those folks were able to make a cocktail in their smaller, more modest setup.
At any rate, buy some Lou’s Libations and send it to your loved ones as a New Year’s gift. Miracle recommends the Snow Daze cocktail for the winter seasons. They will think you’re unique for doing New Year’s instead of Christmas and then they’ll drink their cocktail and think you’re a genius. You’re welcome.